Zen Magnets
8/2017: End of the world again lol .

8/2017: End of the world again lol

TL;DR: Zen Magnets singled out for potential stop-sale. Store closing preparations. We will continue fighting to the very last of our ability, as usual.

CPSC Angry Grudge Mode

Yesterday, the Huffington Post published the most comprehensive summary on our struggles since Westword in 2014. But despite “winning the bigger battle over high-powered magnets”, we expect our friendly neighborhood CPSC to issue a stop-sale to Zen Magnets alone sometime in September. Our future is as uncertain as ever.

A year ago we miraculously beat the magnet ban when all others fled or fell. But somehow one branch of the US Federal Government seems to have a grudge against us and wants to make a point of our destruction. Maybe it’s because we were the first in 32 years to overturn one of their rules in court. Or maybe it’s because we were the first in two decades to defeat them in administrative court?

Regardless, the CPSC will “appeal” our administrative victory. Since they get to “appeal” to themselves (yes, the very people who decided to sue for a recall), they will predictably agree that they were right the whole time and force us to stop selling.

We never fully recovered from the 2015-2016 ban after fighting over year without much of an income. Imagine wrestling a giant while being held underwater. To subsist, we downsized from a big warehouse to a personal bedroom. By the time the victory came through in November 2016, Zen was on the floor, face flushed purple from suffocation.  Reviving a broken supply chain was difficult, but we proudly affirm that the quality of Zen Magnets that are currently available is equal to, if not better than, what they were in years past.

Now what?

As of this moment, we’re liquidating. Prices will be lower than they’ve been for years for our OCD Quality hard-to-make Zen Magnets. Neoballs are cheaper than they should ever be at neoballs.com. If a color is out of stock, come back in a few days or get an email reminder. This is the chance to buy your December presents, as we can’t guarantee our ability to sell any 3 months from now. No coupon necessary. No promises on how long the sale will last.

We’ll request an injunctive stay as soon as the stop-sale is ordered (read: request court to pause Zen death sentence until hearing) and hopefully within a week we’ll be selling again and be back long enough keep fighting through the hearing.

If an injunctive stay is denied and we aren’t able to sell Zen Magnets this holiday season, that will probably be the end of our story: a story which has already lasted longer than we expected. Don’t feel sad for us, we’ve accomplished more than anybody has expected. Plus, we’ll have more time to ski, and jump on trampolines, and ride motorcycles to the liquor gun store. Murica’

Ironically, the only magnet company that the CPSC is targeting right now is also the one with the strongest warnings. (Hint: it’s us.) Ever since we beat the ban, magnet spheres have been available again from thousands of sellers online in the US. And since the CPSC doesn’t seem to be enforcing existing magnet safety laws such as ASTM-F963, even if Zen Magnets do cease to exist, you can probably depend on low-quality high-powered magnets with no warnings flooded all over Amazon, and other markets.